Hunger For Love
by gardenghost
Summary: AU; Castiel has been abused by his mother ever since his father left, and he thinks there is no hoipe left. But what happens when the most beautiful and popular boy in school finds out and tries to fix his problems? SMUT to come.
1. Chapter 1

What do you do when you have to decide between the person you truly love, and the person that your friends and parents love and accept? Who do you choose?

Of course, the answer should obviously be the one you love. But again, it's not that easy. What if your father was a homophobic bastard with an abusive streak and your friends _hated _the person you liked. Would you choose to be accepted and loved by most everyone, or loved by the person the really mattered?

Sometimes life's choices were not so easy.

LINE BREAK

_**The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread. ~Mother Teresa**_

Dean was loved by everyone. He was popular, but he was not a dick about it, and he was downright stunning. All the girls swooned over him and all the guys wanted to be him. There was only one exception to this 'everyone', and that was Castiel Novak.

The quiet kid who always sat in the back of the class. He always wore skin tight skinny jeans and some kind of band shirt, normally something pertaining to heavy metal or post-hardcore. His hair was messy and falling into his eyes, stubble gracing his cheeks and chin.

He himself was gorgeous, but in the way that no one really took any notice of because of his reputation of being the freak.

No one really ever talked to Castiel. No one waved or nodded politely when walking from class to class. It was as if Castiel Novak did not even exist at school. And sometimes it got lonely.

It was a Friday afternoon, and everyone was coming from their sixth period when Dean and Castiel's lives would change…for better and for worse.

_**LINE BREAK***_

Chapter 1

"Alright people, get your stuff and get up…we have a new seating chart!"

All the students groaned in unison at the mention of a new seating chart. Ms. Peterson was _always _changing it around. It got aggravating.

"Oh come on, it's not like I am lining you all up for execution. It's just a little change in plans!"

A chubby kid in the back snorted, "Yeah for like, the hundredth time!"

` Ms. Peterson just ignored the comment and started calling off names and where they would sit. "Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak lab table twelve."

Castiel slowly went to the seat that he was assigned, keeping his head lowered and shoulders hunched, as if he were trying to hide from the world.

Dean's friend elbowed him in the ribs, "Hey man, good luck sitting with that nut-case…rumor has it that he's a fag, so try not to get raped while you're at it."

Dean glared at his friend, "Thanks for the warning Alistair, but I think I can handle it. Anyway, I think you're sitting by Becky Rosen, the chick who stalks Chuck for a living. You're the one that should be careful…she might switch her sights on you."

At the mention of Becky, Alistair grimaced and scrunched his nose like he had just gotten a whiff of something foul-smelling. "Yeah, good point. Hey, I'll watch your back if you watch mine?"

Dean just shook his head and chuckled, "I'll watch your back, man. But I don't need anyone watching mine. I can handle myself."

Alistair shrugged then walked over to where the squirrelly girl with dirty-blond hair and squinty blue eyes was sitting. _Good luck! _Dean mouthed over to him, and then he made his way over to the hunched person sitting at lab twelve.

Dean dropped his stuff and sat in the stool next to Castiel. "Hi, I'm Dean. You're Castiel, right?"

Castiel's answer was a nod, and then sinking down even lower in his chair. The poor kid looked frightened and aggravated at the same time. Which Dean found odd, because he hadn't done anything to him…not that he could remember anyway.

"Um…well, hi." Dean said nervously.

Castiel raised his head and turned to glare at Dean. At the sight of those big, round celestial blue eyes, Dean gasped. They were beautiful. _Wait, what? Beautiful? Since when have I ever thought a guy had beautiful eyes? _Dean quickly looked down away from those eyes. Unfortunately, that brought his lips to attention. At the sight of them, Dean had the sudden urge to grab Castiel and kiss him.

_What the hell is wrong with me! I am not a homo…why am I thinking like one? _Dean started to internally panic. He had no idea where to look at Castiel. If he looked up, he saw his messy, raven-colored hair…which made him think about how it would feel to run his fingers through the silky strands. If he looked down…well, the skinny jeans that Castiel was wearing were tight in all the right places…so that wasn't an option…

Dean's brain was officially in panic mode.

"Look…I don't want this anymore than you, okay. So please, let's try to get through this without talking to each other. I'd rather not deal with any shit." Dean's thoughts were broken by his voice… _His voice! _Damn, if that wasn't the voice of sex and seduction, he didn't know what was. It wasn't until his head had cleared that he realized what Castiel just said.

"Uh…sorry, what?"

Castiel just rolled his eyes and shook his head, "I said I don't want to have to deal with your bull shit. I don't want to have to deal with _you_… you pompous asshole!"

Dean just stared at the boy in shock. The kid didn't even know him, how could he judge him like that? "What the fuck dude! You don't even know me! How would you know if I was an asshole…we have never even met!"

Castiel glared at Dean again, "I don't have to know you, your reputation precedes you."

Dean just shook his head. How could this beautiful person be such a dick. _But I guess that's just the way it goes…nice on the outside, ugly on this inside…_

By the time Ms. Peterson put everyone in their assigned seat, the bell rang for the end of the day. Castiel gave Dean one last glare before sliding off of the stool and walking away.

And even though Dean now disliked Castiel immensely, he couldn't help but notice the sensual sway in his hips as he walked away.

_**Line Break***_

_** "**_Castiel! Where the hell have you been!" Castiel cringed when his mother's shout reached his ears. He could tell that she was already drunk. He carefully made his way into the kitchen where it sounded like she was in.

"Mother, I was at school, remember. Today is Friday…" The sight of his mother sickened him and made pitty well up inside him. She was a mess, as per usual. Her blonde curls were a tangled, dirty mess. Her skin was stained with different things, smudges of dirt and grime, maybe even some puke.

She turned around and slapped Castiel hard across the face. He licked his lip and tasted blood. She had busted his lip…._again_. "Don't you dare act like you are better than me, boy! I am your mother and you must respect me! You are no better than your father! Oh, he was so charming at first all promises and fake dreams of a bright and loving future. But then he knocked me up with you and he left! That bastard left me to take care of his bastard child!"

She took a deep, seemingly calm breath, closing her eyes, and then opening them again. They seemed a bit brighter and friendlier than a minute ago. Castiel sighed with relief. At least it wasn't going to last as long as he figured it would. His mother laid a hand on his cheek. Her palms were smooth and warm, and the gesture almost seemed loving, until he noticed her eyes go dark with rage again.

Before he could even react, his mother slapped him harder than before. His head snapped to one side with the force of it. "YOU DISGUST ME! YOU ARE EXACTLY LIKE YOUR FUCKING FATHER! YOU HAVE HIS LOOKS AND HIS TRICKERY… GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU BASTARD! GET….OUT!"

Castiel stood there stunned for a half second before slowly turning around and walking through the front door, closing it gently before running. Not knowing where, just running. This outburst was some of the worst he had seen in a while, and his mother had never told him to leave. He had gotten plenty to busted lips, but never had she yelled at him to leave like that. Maybe got to his room, or get out of her sight…but never leave.

Tears streamed down his face as Castiel kept running. He was just letting his feet take his away, and it wasn't until he had been running for a while did he notice where he was. It was the big green field that he had discovered years ago, It used to be his favorite place to go, to get away from the madness of his mother. But he hadn't been here for a couple years. Castiel was surprised to find himself in the middle of it.

As the tears resided some, he picked his way towards the middle of the rolling green grass. The blades of grass looked untouched, and they gently rubbed against his fingers, as if trying to sooth some of the pain.

Once he got to the very center of the field he stood. He just stood for a little while, looking over the small expanse of the field. But as he looked at the peaceful place, anger and jealousy began to bubble within him. _Why can't my life be thins peaceful. Why can't my mother love and nourish me the way Mother Nature loves and nourishes these individual blades of grass. How can these insignificant little plants get more love from an invisible mother than I get from a real one! _

Castiel violently tore at the grass, his anger becoming too much for him to keep inside. "WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!" Castiel shouted to the sky. He had stopped believing in a god long ago, but sometimes, when things got too hard to handle, he would resort to what he used to do. He would talk to a god that either did not exist, or did not care.

He calmed down after his outburst and breathed heavily. His anger slowly drained away, leaving only hurt, betrayal, and pain. Castiel sagged to the ground and began to cry. But not for himself; no, he cried for his poor, sick mother. He cried for _her _hurt and _her _pain. He cried for the injustice the world had done to her, the injustice his _father _had done to her. He cried for being a disappointment to her. But most of all he cried for not being able to be stronger, for not being able to stay with her and try and comfort her through her time of need.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Oh my goodness guys! I am so sorry about the very, very, very late posting of this chapter! I can't believe it's been this long! But now that I am on summer break I have more time to update and create more stories for your enjoyment ^-^ **

**Well, I will leave you alone now so you can read this chapter…**

_God, what is his problem? And why do I care so much? _Dean glared at the road he was driving on while flashbacks of his last period at school kept playing in his head. He couldn't help but remember the way Castiel's body moved so gracefully out of the classroom or how deep and gruff his voice was.

Dean felt a rush of heat flash through his body. _But what did I do wrong? Why does he hate me so much? _Those questions had been running through his mind over and over, like a broken record, and Dean just couldn't think of the reason.

He had never talked to Castiel before, never bothered him; so why did he hate him so much? Dean slammed his hand against the steering wheel in frustration. _God, why am I being such a girl about this? I don't care what he thinks of me. I don't care if he hates me! _

But even as he was thinking it, he knew it was a lie. For some reason, he cared what Castiel thought of him…a lot.

Dean shook his head and the same questions flashed through his head again. _Why do I care so much? I just don't understand it… _

His mind probably would have gone on forever with the stressing questions, but every thought was cut short when he saw the very person he was just thinking about ran up onto a grassy field. The way Castiel was running, he looked like he was running away from something, and Dean had done enough of that to know what it looked like.

Dean pulled his Impala to a stop on the side of the road and got out, making sure to lock the doors before making his way quickly up the field towards Castiel. When Dean was only a few meters away from him, Castiel started to yell at the sky.

"WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!" And as those heart-wrenching words were torn from his lips, Dean watched as Castiel fell to the dirt and began to sob.

Dean was frozen in place. He had no idea what the hell was going on. He took a step closer, trying to be quiet about, so he wouldn't disturb Castiel, but the grass seemed to have other plans because his foot landed on a twig and it snapped, alerting Castiel to his presence.

Castiel's head snapped up and around. When he saw Dean standing there with a sheepish look on his face his eyes widened then narrowed. "What are you doing here?" Dean had to suppress a shiver. Castiel's voice was already gravelly, but with him crying his voice sounded way too mature and rough than it should be.

Dean stood rooted to the spot, not knowing how to answer. It wasn't helping his muddled brain any either that Castiel was staring so intently at him. When his brain worked out the situation he finally answered. "I was going for a drive and I saw you run up here. You looked like you were running away from something, so I wanted to see if you were okay. Sorry if I'm bothering you or anything. I was just worried, is all."

Castiel's glare lessened in intensity, but he still had a guarded look in his eyes. When Dean had enough time to study Castiel's face he was appalled. He had red and purple bruises on his cheek and his lip was bleeding from a nasty split. Castiel noticed Dean staring and he quickly turned his head away. An awkward and tense silence made its way between them.

"So, uh…what exactly happened, you know, that caused all that bruising. It looks like you got into a fight with a wall." Dean tried to lift the mood with his humor, but all it seemed to do was worsen Castiel's already dark mood.

"Look, I appreciate the fact that you were worried about me and that you actually proved me wrong and have a heart, but could you please just fuck off already…I'm fine, alright. And I really don't need anyone right now."

Dean was taken aback by the venom in the boys words. Not only that, but the way Castiel seemed to think of him was not very good…or accurate for that matter. "Look man, I can tell you aren't alright. I've been in situations like this before…I know that it's hard…but-"

Castiel turned back to Dean, his face was twisted in a very demented very sad smile. "You think that you have been in a situation like mine…YOU THINK THAT! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW! The _only _thing that you have ever had to worry about is what you are going to wear or how you are going to get to a swim meet or what your _girlfriend _thinks of you and your DAMNABLE REPUTATION! SO _DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE SAY YOU KNOW THE SITUATION I AM IN! YOU HAVE NO IDEA__,__ YOU DICK!" _

The ferocity and anger in Castiel's voice made Dean want to flinch away, but his pride swelled up and took charge of the situation.

"Wow, I never thought someone could be so arrogant to think that someone else's life is just _so _easy. You think you know my life, you think you know the things I have to go through on a daily basis? You are so mistaken! My life isn't easy, asshole! You have no idea everything that I have gone through and what I still have to go through. You think you know me? Well try rethinking that! Jesus, all that I wanted to do was help you! I saw you running I thought, 'oh, despite the shitty attitude I got from you in science class, I'll go out of my way and help the poor bastard…he looks like he needs it'. I am sorry for bothering you, I will get out of your hair now."

Castiel just stood dumb-struck as Dean began to stomp back the way he had come.


End file.
